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A new chapter in the perilous adventures of KGB Colonel Vianello!
Brought to you by Grognard Emeritus Thomas Gaul.

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Time: 1:30am Moscow time, 14 Sept. 1985
Place: “Special Interrogations Branch” of the KGB annex of the Kremlin, office (chamber?) of Major Eleonora Olivares

Slowly turning to face KGB Colonel Vianello, Major Olivares did not at first even deign to glance at her victim, err, the Colonel. Instead she was raptly staring at a small creature pinched between her gloved black hands (yet another violation of the Red Army dress code but one no one would dare protest against). Hard to discern at first, as the Major slowly stalked toward the seated Colonel, the Colonel was able to gradually make it out.

It was a small spider, wiggling to escape the tight, grasping pincers that were the Major’s fingers.

“Interesting creatures,” Major Olivares remarked, still not taking her hypnotic stare from the struggling creature. “The males, of course, are small and weak, almost completely useless. They exist only to mate with the females who then eat and kill them. That provides the nourishment for the females to continue the species. Thus, the males are only useful if they die and, in dying, feed the females.”

By now the Major had reached a point just in front of the Colonel’s chair. The short space between the Colonel’s chair and the Major’s desk meant that the Major’s body was inches from the seated Colonel. The Colonel found himself still staring in growing terror at the spider, the Major, the Major’s knout, and, unable to help himself, the skin tight blouse covering the Major more than ample chest. Since he was seated and the Major was standing, she towered above him like a hawk above a rabbit.

With a shrug, the Major dropped the spider. It landed on the Colonel’s chair, exactly between his legs, inches from his manhood. Without pausing for a moment, the Major’s boot, with their 4 inched spiked heels, expertly rose and then came hurtling down, exactly skewering the helpless spider and coming within millimeters of hitting the most vulnerable of the Colonel’s anatomy.

Continue reading September 14, 1985: Socialist Standing